Going off the rails on the C-R-A-Z-Y train!

I've noticed a little something lately.  I've noticed that I'm a little crazy.  Emotions overboard lately.  I've always been a little emotional, but frankly its becoming a bit too much.

Let me run a couple of examples by you.

I'm currently in the process of assisting with the training of a service dog.  Its for a great cause.  I've been involved with the organization for a while.  The dog is adorable (see pics below)

 

However, Friday night, I went to my dad's house for our first fall firepit.  Chill time to hang out.  The puppy backed into the table and knocked my drink off.  Mind you this was a diet coke.  Not even a "good drink."  What happens, I break into tears.  TEARS I tell you! Really?

Then, Saturday, we were at training class.  This week's outing was going to a Halloween store.  My puppy has a hard time with parking lots.  It took us a long time to cross the parking lot and even get to the store.  There were 7 other dogs there of various ages and when walking around the sidewalk they were all doing well.  My puppy  not so much.  She gets a little freaked out around cars, and this shopping center was CRAZY busy.  So what happened when one of the advanced trainers came to ask how we were doing.... you guessed it, complete and total meltdown!  Tears again.  For real, standing on the sidewalk in public just crying.

So I ask you, as it is no where near *that time of the month* why the heck am I so crazy lately??

For real, I'm up to suggestions.  I don't feel depressed, I'm not avoiding my life.  I just don't know what is UP with me!

9 months later

9 months,  its been 9 months since I blogged.  I could have had a kid by now.  I didn't :-)  Instead, I've been avoiding my band for a long time.  I hadn't been back to the doctor since last September.  That is a long damn time!  I still went to the support group meeting once a month that my hospital provides.  I sat, I listened, I got grumpy, and then I got real.  I had a minor breakdown a few months ago, and finally let the people at the meeting talk me into making the big return appointment.  When your doc is known for being a bit "mean" (okay, real, but its not fluffy, real talks) and you've been away for 7 months, and you've gained back most of the weight you've lost (I was back up to 306) it can be a very daunting experience to go back.

But damn, 306,  while it wasn't up to my heaviest, I crossed back over the 300 mark and that was not okay.  So I made the appt.  I bit the bullet, and took my beating (verbally).  We talked about how I had a major life changing incident (the car wreck) and then just totally jumped off track.  I got a fill.  A good one (though I didn't get to see the exact amount).  In fact,  I think I finally understand how this thing is supposed to work.

That re-commitment was on Wednesday, August 14th.  I went back this past week for my 8 week checkup and I was down.  I was down 16lbs!  That is 2lbs a week!  I will take it!

We decided since I'm losing well, that we didn't need another fill, and I've scheduled another 12 weeks out.  I want to lose another 15 lbs before I go back.  Thats a big goal for me.  I have about 2 lbs until my lowest I've ever been (since the start of this journey), and 15 lbs would put me in the 270's... somewhere I haven't seen for probably 10 years.

But its doable.  It will be done.