About Me

My name is Sara and I am on the quest for a better me! I was banded on May 23, 2012. Come join along and help me stay accountable!

Monday, January 7, 2013

Random musings and personality questions

I really am trying to get better at the blogging.  I am getting better at tracking.  I've tracked everyday this week on MFP and now have 4 friends on there!  2 of which are bloggy friends - YEAH!  User name is sjsanto if anybody else wants to join the party.  So far so good with regards to the tracking.  Its a lot different than WW points - The numbers are so much BIGGER!

So I go back to WW for my weigh in tomorrow night.  First official weigh in since pre-holidays... I really am hoping to be able to talk my sister into forgoing the WW and sticking with MFP.  I can weigh myself naked in the am rather than clothed in the evening - and save myself $80 a month!  I sent her a friend request, she created an account, but hasn't tracked anything.  Shes younger than me, and has been heavier less, so I'm thinking she's just not there yet.  I want to support her, but really need to focus on me.  

Which brings me to my next point.  I"m always so worried about what other people are thinking, saying, feeling, etc.  It kind of sucks.  I mean - really its helpful, especially since I work in healthcare, but really it is kind of draining.  Not only am I always thinking - but I'm constantly comparing.  Since I've gotten back on track I keep reading your blogs and noticing just how much i'm "behind" the people that got banded around the same time as me.  I know, I know.  Everyone looses differently.  And heck, I'm the first to say I'm not exactly an exercise machine.  But its hard.  I'm a competitive person.  And if I can't win, succeed, get first place, than why do it at all :-(

A few years ago, my sister, who works in corporate finance, gave us all a book for christmas that was called Strengthfinder 2.0 by Tom Rath.  It has a quiz and gives you a list of your top 5 strengths.  Without boring you with the excel charts and comparisons (yes my family is full of geeks) My top five are:

top 5 for sara
You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information—words, facts, books, and quotations—or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. 
You want to be very significant in the eyes of other people. In the truest sense of the word you want to be recognized. You want to be heard. You want to stand out. 
Yours is the kind of mind that is always looking for connections, and so you are intrigued when seemingly disparate phenomena can be linked by an obscure connection. 
Competition is rooted in comparison. When you look at the world, you are instinctively aware of other people's performance. Their performance is the ultimate yardstick. No matter how hard you tried, no matter how worthy your intentions, if you reached your goal but did not outperform your peers, the achievement feels hollow. Over time you will come to avoid contests where winning seems unlikely.
"Wouldn't it be great if . . ." You are the kind of person who loves to peer over the horizon. The future fascinates you. As if it were projected on the wall, you see in detail what the future might hold, and this detailed picture keeps pulling you forward, into tomorrow. When the present proves too frustrating and the people around you too pragmatic, you conjure up your visions of the future and they energize you.

The two that I want to bring attention to are Significance and Competition - basically it says that not only to I compete at everything - but I want to you to tell me I'm doing a good job while I'm doing it. Its hard because I don't feel like I can tell myself I'm doing a good job. Because if I'm being honest with myself, I'm not. I eat crappy foods (less of them, yes, on most days) but still very crappy. I don't exercise ( yes my ankle is still busted, but I could probably do some weight lifting / or gentle yoga. I even break the cardinal rule and drink while I'm eating occasionally. Its no good. And change is hard folks.

Without sounding like a broken record, I know that I can only change the choices from now on. Which is why I've started back to tracking, and #1 on my list tomorrow is to call a PT to help rehab my ankle back to its normal (albeit shaky) strength and move forward.

So Congrats to you for making it to the end of my most long winded (and definitely somewhat depressing) post. In good spirit, it is now time for a stretch break. ** In all fairness, I did not create this, but snagged it from Pinterest**

1 comment:

  1. Welcome back Sara and I've missed you. What a fucki g struggle this has been. Lets get it done!!!!